[A slide that says “What You Missed On Oprah...” accompanied with catchy music appears on the screen for a few seconds before switching to a view of a studio audience. They cheer loudly as Space Oprah flies in on a hoverboard, hi-fiving the people in the front row.]

You see this? It’s the new FlyOn 2500! And everybody here today gets one! You get ( Read more... )

Do you all know what today is?

[In case you don’t know right off the bat, Haruhi has hints for you. First, she excitedly places a stalk of bamboo onto her table. Two red rectangular strips of paper with “I wish for the universe to revolve around me” and “I wish for the S. S. Thor to pass through a galaxy in the middle of it being created" written ( Read more... )

[This is serious business. You can tell because Haruhi has set up her Guide like a proper camera. Now it can adequately capture the scene: she is standing on a desk (courtesy of Death the Kid) with her hands on her hips, Brigade Chief armband pinned to her sleeve, and best scheming smile on her face.]The moment you’ve all been waiting for is ( Read more... )

[And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: Haruhi Suzumiya is starting an SOS Brigade on the S.S. Thor. And just in case you happened to miss all of the posters that she's been hanging up around the ship, she's sending out a helpful mass text message! It’s exactly the same as the poster: colorful, but vague.]

ATTENTION!!!!


( Read more... )

ATTENTION, PASSENGERS OF THE S.S. SIF! This broadcast is of the utmost importance ( Read more... )

[I hope all you people of the food court are paying attention, because your favorite Idol has a publicity performance today. You can tell that the set list was her manager's pick, as they’re all cheesy pop songs about space, save for the closing song. To anybody who knows Haruhi, it's also pretty clear that she's only acting the part of an idol.] ( Read more... )

Yo, Thor! Your number one brigade chief has survived the ordeal of the abandoned spaceship unscathed! Security robots and creepy space monsters are no match for Haruhi Suzumiya! [If only because she was continually thinking "I do not want to die right now." But she's not one to share those kinds of feelings. You might be able to tell she's less ( Read more... )

[What's up, space? Haruhi spent a very long time filling out paperwork and waiting in line, but she refuses to let that put a damper on her mood. Hope that your volume is turned down, because Haruhi Suzumiya is excited, and she lowers her voice for no one.]Hello aliens and other extraterrestrials! I’m Haruhi Suzumiya, from planet Earth. Well, I ( Read more... )

♫ You better watch out,
you better not cry,
you better not pout
I'm telling you why!
Santa Claus is coming to town! ♫

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.

[So. Um, she's posting this whenever exact midnight is on the ship, so basically the minute that it's actually Christmas.]

NE! LISTEN UP EVERYONESince some new people showed up I have a request ( Read more... )